1. Is the editor really a drunk?
In truth, the editor is a total lightweight who gets silly on 3/4 of a glass of wine.
2. Why aren’t the submission guidelines available on video?
Because who the hell does that and how the hell is it supposed to make sense?
3. How many word processors will be used in the making of the books?
Oh, come on.
4. What years does someone have to be born between and/or graduated between to submit to Fossil Lake?
After getting into a huge fight about the Gregorian vs. Julian calendar as regards correlation with the Long Count as used by the Maya in conjunction with only making this project open to those who share the editor’s birthday or the Zodiac sign and/or have the same year animal according to the Chinese calendar of someone related to the editor but including Leap Years, it was decided that nobody who doesn’t need decades of therapy even gives a damn.
5. Is this whole project just a giant eff-you to a certain party who shall remain nameless?
Not “just” …
6. Where is the complete 20+ page PDF of the guidelines?
A ghost shark ate it.
7. How many fonts do you own?
‘Round about all of them by now, but, that doesn’t mean we need to use several per page.
8. What does it mean to become part of the Fossil Lake roster?
It’s a lot like something out of a Twilight Zone episode.
9. Why is Brian Keene such a doody-head?
10. What kind of metal do you listen to?
Brass, and Viking.
11. Will the Fossil Lake books be in museums?
We are darkety-dark hybrid mavens! Now shut up and let us get our readership!
12. What’s your fan-fiction policy?
If it’s going to be Will and Grace, it better be fabulous because we have standards.